C-DAY

Posted on November 12, 2011. Filed under: My Ramblings, Prayer Request | Tags: , |


I have had quite a whirlwind.  A little over a week ago I was told had a polyp that needed to be removed from my uterus and that I needed a D&C.  No problem.  I knew this was common to women and I would face it head on.   Then my primary doctor told me he wanted me to take a stress test first.  I really tried to talk him out of this but he wouldn’t budge.  I was right to do that and should have stuck to my guns…you don’t want to see how black and blue I am.  It took two people and four tries before they got the stinking pick line in so they could administer who knows what chemicals into my system to test me.  I absolutely hate the feelings I get during this test, but at least this time it didn’t take forever to get through.  Then, Thursday, Paul and I got up at the crack of dawn.  We drove to the hospital and I was whizzed through the preliminaries and off to surgery I went.  I went to the surgical room, which was nothing like they show on TV…its much smaller.  And that’s the last thing I remember thinking.  I don’t even remember what it was like to wake up from the anesthesia,  but all of a sudden I was up and in a recovery waiting room.  The doctor told me not to worry, they got the polyp out and did the D&C.  She didn’t think the polyp was cancerous.  So Paul and I went for a bite to eat and I slept the day away.  I woke up yesterday morning full of energy and felt really good.  I picked up the book I am reading and decided I was going to relax for the rest of the day.  I really wanted to finish the book.   The doctor called to check up on me around noon and we were both really happy that I was doing so well.   I had a bit to eat and then around  4 PM. The doctor called again, this time with the news that I have cancer.  I know I will have to go through a hysterectomy but I don’t know what else will be coming along with that.  So now what do I do?    I  have not let it really sink in, or perhaps I did.  I can’t tell you which.  Though the most difficult part of this was having to tell my Mother.  She is a typical Jewish mother, she worries about me constantly even though I am 64 years old.  So I am more worried about her worrying about me than anything else at this point.  When I casually broke the news to Paul,  it took a bit for him to process what I was saying, and then he started to come towards me, and I knew he was going to hug me, and I said, “Are you going to make me cry?”  He said, “No, I’m going to hug you.”  The tears welled up in my eyes, but I am not letting myself cry.  I’m not quite sure why, but somehow I feel if I cry that is giving into this horrendous disease.  I don’t want to give it the power to bring me to tears.  But, I know me, the t ears will come…I just don’t know when.  Please add me to your prayers!

 

Love,

Softa123

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